Looking back, unable to move on...

I've been thinking about her a lot lately. Of course she's always on my mind. I'm a Pisces, i need closure. That's something I'll never get. I should have been at the bed, she wouldn't have known I was there, but I would have known. I didn't get to say goodbye, I can't seem to get over she was supposed to come home that day. Everything happened so fast. We all were about to walk across the stage and receive our high school diplomas, we graduated together after everything that happened. Its one of the first big events in a person's life. She wasn't there for that, she didn't make it. Two moments of silence wasn't enough. Knowing she wouldn't be in the car leaving with us was killing all of us. So must history between kindergarten and then. So many life changing events, fun times and chaos. The only memories i can seem to remember from way back then are with her. We had so many secrets, spent so much time together. Loved, laughed, lived and argued. Such a tragic tale, and there wasn't a happy ending. She's on my mind everyday, but i can't bring myself to visit where she rests. Too hard, still.